2018浙江新高考英语|应用文写作范文，范文点评与改进建议
上篇小编给大家分享了浙江新高考英语应用文写作审题要领，以及2017年6月份浙江高考英语试卷中的贠原题，下面为大家带来的是这道题的应用文写作范文，范文点评与改进建议，希望本文对大家有所帮助!更多教育资讯和辅导资料，敬请关注百学教育浙江官网!另外，大家也可以去机构云试题库、机构好课去下载学习资料与视频，更多免费学习资料等着你!
作文范例
范文一
Dear Chris，
I am writing to invite you to hike with us this Sunday。
There will be 20 people in total， including my friends and classmates。 According to the schedule， we will meet at 8 o’clock on the morning of this Sunday at the foot of Green Mountain。 Then， we will climb the mountain and have a picnic on the summit， from which we can enjoy the beautiful scenery of the whole city。 Should you join us， we will be more than glad。
Looking forward to your earliest reply。
Yours，
Li Hua
〖点评〗
该作文开门见山，直接表明写信的目的。所写内容覆盖了所有要点，表达清楚，语言基本准确，且尝试应用高级语法结构。如：现在分词作定语including my friends and classmates，定语从句we will climb the mountain and have a picnic on the summit， from which we can enjoy the beautiful scenery of the whole city。(当然，该句中的定语从句引导词改为from where更为妥当。)文章的结尾使用了倒装结构：Should you join us， we will be more than glad。 再次委婉地表达了期望对方参加郊游的心情。文中使用的According to the schedule和Then这两处衔接成分，有效地使全文结构紧凑。
不足之处在于第二段中时间的表达不够准确，应改成we will meet at 8 o’clock this Sunday morning。
范文二
Dear Chris，
I’m writing to invite you to participate in a hiking organized by me， where some of our classmates will get involved。
As scheduled， we are to gather at the foot of Baiyun near our school at 8：00 am this Saturday。 We’ll start with climbing the mountain， enjoying the fresh air and breathtaking views along the way。 After we make it to the peak， you can expect a picnic where home-made snacks will satisfy your stomach。
If you’re available， please confirm it at your earliest convenience。 Looking forward to your involvement!
Yours，
Li Hua
〖点评〗
首先，该作文使用的大量高级词汇体现了作者词汇的丰富性，如：participate in， get involved， schedule， breathtaking， home-made， satisfy， available， confirm， involvement等。其次，作者没有使用任何关联词，却做到了行文连贯。如：第二段的开头利用as scheduled这一短语引出郊游的时间和地点，接着通过谓语动词start with介绍了第一项登山活动，最后使用after引导的时间状语，过渡到野餐活动。整篇文章衔接合乎逻辑，显得非常自然顺畅。另外，文中多处使用了分词结构，如过去分词作定语organized和home-made，现在分词作状语enjoying the fresh air and breathtaking views along the way。
改进的建议：最后一段“If you’re available， please confirm it at your earliest convenience。”这句话中的confirm it用法不准确。建议改成If you’re available， please confirm at your earliest convenience。
范文三
Dear Chris，
There is going to be a picnic for students at the City Park this Saturday。 As a member of the students’ Union and a good friend of yours， I’m honored to invite you to come with us。 In my opinion， it must be a great chance for you to know more about our city and make new friends。 According to our plan， we will climb the mountains， enjoying the beautiful scenery and our home-made delicious food。 I guarantee that you’ll have a wonderful and unforgettable trip!
Looking forward to your reply!
Yours，
Li Hua
〖点评〗
该篇作文与前两篇不同，信件的开头先介绍了活动的时间和地点，再发出邀请，而且文章中增加了其他内容，包括参加郊游的意义和对活动的评价：In my opinion， it must be a great chance for you to know more about our city and make new friends。 I guarantee that you’ll have a wonderful and unforgettable trip! 概言之，本文语言朴实，虽没有使用太多华丽辞藻和高级句式，但全文要点全面、条理清晰、结构紧凑、把事情说得清楚明白，完全达到了预期的写作目的，不失为一篇应用文佳作。
改进建议：第一句话中的a picnic与主题“郊游”不符，可改为an outing或a hike。
在“we will climb the mountains， enjoying the beautiful scenery and our home-made delicious food。”一句中，作者尝试使用现在分词作伴随状语，但是这句话在逻辑上有问题，因为登山的同时可以欣赏风景，但是不可能边登山边野餐。建议改成we will climb the mountains， admire the beautiful scenery and enjoy our home-made delicious food。
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